On the other hand, seniors everyone do plan for the 2 to sleep in you to definitely family for every night. Once they see that nothing occurred due to fear by boy, the latest earlier men, as a consequence of their buddy, do plan out briefing instructions to share with the newest boy who the fresh new lady is indeed he should not any longer forget from girls and you will feminine. There was a familiar trust that women “bite” among youthfulness, no one dares to say reverse viewpoints. Thanks to this trust, boys and girls don’t rush towards the relationships and, because of this, they often get married at the chronilogical age of 31 or thirty-five.
New boy narrates to their cousin every characters of your girl he has got enjoyed and would like to away from no less than three, spanning the students people, his uncle, plus one relative but not their moms and dads, visits the brand new girl’s domestic so as that both of these sides understand per other well
After that, parents and you can uncles ( eni mbumba ) (the master of the children) will always be wanting to has actually the boy or girl pick a compatible relationship spouse. While some of these means is shrinking, it nonetheless setting part of the youth’s road to providing ong the fresh new Chewa.
Among the Chewa , whenever a person proposes relationship in order to a girl, this is not apparent that they’ll wed quickly. You will find a procedure that relates to uncles, aunties, moms and dads, chiefs, and other influential people in town. ” Even after getting selecting the person, your woman will not say “yes” on first suggestion about man. The guy has to justify his position several times till the girl nods towards the suggestion. To date, some men quit considering the new girl is not shopping for all of them.
Depending on the Chewa people, it’s wrong on girl to accept a wedding offer to start with connection with a guy. The newest girl should slow down invited making sure that she actually is viewed since “good,” not desperate, not easy, and you may anyone dudes is also fight to have.
Acknowledging the suggestion in the initially exposure to the guy is actually a beneficial manifestation of exhaustion regarding girl. It signals she actually is “cheaper.” At the same time, when your man matches back again to profit the brand new girl immediately after a delay during the recognizing a proposition, they indicators an effective wedding. Additionally, it implies that the person are strong and durable enough. Subsequent, they ensures you to definitely regardless of if they deal with challenges in marriage, both would-be strong enough to manage circumstances.
In the beginning, if the guy matches the fresh girl, the person claims, “ Chemwali ndakukondani, n’kadakonda ndithu n’takukwatirani,” definition “Woman, Everyone loves you, and you can would love to marry you
This action is called “kufunsira mbeta,” meaning wedding proposition . If the girl finally allows, the person provides the girl chikole ( some thing real which the woman otherwise a person can show other people one the woman is interested). Preferred situations utilized just like the chikole tend to be mikanda (jewelry) , content feminine usually used Fatima sexy girls to wrap over their thoughts, or other material things. Giving the lady chikole indicates that the person try dedicated to marrying the fresh new girl and prevents the girl from being approached by the almost every other guys for relationship proposals. When a different sort of people approache the lady, she suggests the fresh chikole in order to cut off your away from continuing his advances.
While the girl accepts the latest suggestion, she suggests the guy to inform their particular bro about it. As mentioned before, one of several Chewa, the latest buddy is recognized as mwini mbumba (manager of your youngsters from the clan). If guy organizes to go to the new bro of the girl, the guy doesn’t wade alone. In the beginning, he’s to tell their bro regarding girl he’s got recommended matrimony in order to. Once they arrive at the newest girl’s buddy, their particular uncle also not by yourself – they are always joined by the almost every other household members of girl however, perhaps not their own moms and dads. Once the boy’s cluster comes, they engage in discussions entitled malonje (introductions and you will inviting remarks).